You Know You're From New Zealand When...
You know what to do in an Earthquake: get into the nearest doorway before any other bugger and say, "Nah, I don't reckon it's the big one this time. We'll be right."
You can hum the theme song to Coronation street.
You know what apples really taste like (and that there are more than four different kinds).
You know rugby league is not, and never will be, an international sport.
You're not sure about cricket, either. Or hockey. Or netball. Or swimming. Or the women's 400m. Or any other sport in which Australia are world champions. Yes, you're even having doubts about real rugby.
You know what happened to the lead singer of Push Push.
You're seen Split Enz, or former members thereof, performing live at least once.
You reckon anyone who carries on about how great they are is an up-themselves wanker. Or an Australian.
You wouldn't dream of wearing thongs on your feet. Thats what jandals are for.
The name "Chappell" still makes you queasy
You know someone who worked on The Lord of the Rings or Xena.
You wish Fitzy, Zinzan and Josh were still playing for the ABs.
The dairy sells more than just stuff from cows.
You rolled Snifters, rather then Jaffas, down the aisle at the movies.
You know something's horribly wrong if you've been driving for more then 2 hours without the scenery changing.
The words "NZ cricket victory" just don't sound right, somehow.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from New Zealand.